Massachusetts Divorce Mediation FAQs

In the context of divorce mediation, it’s important to recognize the four core divorce issues that may be present in your mediation: (1.) child custody and parenting time, (2.) child support, (3.) alimony and (4.) the division of assets. Some divorces feature a few additional issues, while many divorces include only one or two of the listed issues. Prior to entering mediation, participants should spend some time researching outcomes for divorce cases. For example, participants should make an effort to understand how child support and alimony are calculated in Massachusetts, and when courts order shared physical custody. With respect to assets, consider the length of the marriage and nature of the assets in question, such as the marital home. The best mediation negotiators enter the process with a set of clear goals, while remaining open to identifying the areas in which they are willing to make sacrifices, while updating and prioritizing their goals as the mediation process unfolds. For a detailed review of setting goals in divorce mediation, check out Nicole Levy’s blog, The Importance of Defining Your Goals Before Divorce Mediation.

South Shore Divorce Mediation offers mediation coaching for individuals engaged in mediation who seek guidance during the negotiation process. For individuals proceeding without a coach, preparing to negotiate involves identifying clear goals for mediation, conducting research and gathering knowledge on legal and financial issues, approaching the negotiation patiently, and continually revising and re-focusing on your goals to ensure you obtain an optimal outcome. For a more comprehensive rundown on preparing for mediation, check out Carmela Miraglia’s blog, Four Negotiating Tips for Divorce Mediation.

Being prepared for a mediation session is the best ways to make sure it goes smoothly. If you are not prepared for a session, it can prolong the mediation process and increase costs over time. A lack of preparation can also frustrate your spouse and could increase the stress levels. If being unprepared becomes a habit, the mediation process can sputter, making the others stakeholders doubt the non-performing individual’s commitment.

Typically, a mediator will finish every session with a summary of what was accomplished and what will be covered in the next session. This often includes a checklist of information and documents that you will need to provide in the next session – basically a homework assignment for the next session. While this often proves helpful for subsequent sessions, it will not help you prepare for your first session.

For your first mediation session, it is often helpful to have a complete list of the assets that you own (or you think you might own). This includes bank accounts and retirement funds, real estate, vehicles, and valuable personal belongings, as well as anything else that might be valuable, plus all of your outstanding debts. Financial records relating to you or your spouse’s income are also helpful, as is a list of your recurring expenses. School records relating to your children, or specific child-related costs, can also be helpful. Together, these records can give all involved a sense of a couple’s current lifestyle and flag potential conflicts or sources of discussion to be ironed out during the subsequent mediation sessions.

Finally, it is helpful to reflect on your goals for the future before the first mediation session begins. Having an idea of the outcomes you are seeking after the divorce is complete can help you negotiate more effectively and helps the mediator prioritize issues.

For the initial mediation meeting, spouses are encouraged to bring whatever documents each think may be relevant. However, the main purpose of the initial meeting is to review the process, gather information, and begin establishing basic goals, such as a selecting a mediation schedule moving forward.  After that, what you bring is really determined by the issues that need to be discussed.

For divorces or modifications that deal with financial issues, spouses will likely need to begin gathering financial information. For divorce or custody issues, documents relating to the children may be relevant. Ultimately, the necessary documents are determined by a couple’s individual issues and the resolution that is ultimately being sought.  Often times, litigants in a court case are required to provide mountains of information that may or may not be relevant, due to discovery requirements or subpoenas.  In mediation, the goal is to focus on your specific issues, gathering only the records that directly affect your solutions.