Massachusetts Divorce Mediation FAQs

No. The mediator’s role in a divorce mediation is as a neutral third party who urges spouses to listen to each other’s needs, creatively craft solutions that are mutually beneficial, and compromise in ways that ensure everyone’s future success and well-being. Directly representing either you or your spouse during the mediation would destroy this neutrality. (It might also violate the Massachusetts Rules of Professional Conduct, which impose a duty of loyalty and a duty to avoid conflicts of interest on attorneys.)

The mediator’s inability to legally represent either party extends past the ending of the mediation sessions. Because these sessions are kept confidential in order to facilitate the negotiation process, it would be improper for the mediator – who has inside knowledge of those discussions – to then give you legal advice after the mediation has wrapped up.

In contrast, a mediation coach is an attorney who can assist you during the mediation process by offering coaching as you work with the mediator. Your mediation coach can represent you in divorce litigation if the mediation process breaks down.

During a mediation session, it not unusual for a mediator to split the spouses and meet with each spouse separately, provided each spouse agrees to this arrangement. Speaking separately with each spouse helps the mediator better understand each spouse’s separate concerns, worries, and goals. Spouses often have their guard up in the presence of other spouse, and separate meetings between each spouse and the mediator allows the mediator to aid each spouse in communicating in a manner that facilitates cooperation instead of conflict.

It is important, however, to address the elephant in the room when it comes to individual meetings during the divorce mediation process: The core value of a good mediator is their neutrality. Good mediators do not use individual meetings to favor one spouse over the other or to provide important information to one, but not the other spouse. Because it is precisely this neutrality that makes mediation such a good tool for resolving a divorce, successful mediators take impartiality extremely seriously, and do not put their neutrality into jeopardy.

Because maintaining impartiality is paramount, many mediators will limit their individual meetings with a spouse to scheduled mediation sessions where each spouse is physically present in an adjoining room. While couples sometimes agree that each spouse may meet with the mediator on his or her own, outside of the context of a scheduled session, these arrangements must be handled carefully to ensure that each spouse maintains trust in the process.

Because divorce mediation is conducted outside of the courtroom between you and your spouse, there is often only one single court appearance that needs to be made over the course of the entire divorce – i.e. when the divorce papers need to be filed with the court. If parties each want the mediator to attend the hearing, this can generally be arranged, with certain limitations. For example, spouses must remember that even if their mediator is a divorce attorney, the mediator would not be acting as an attorney for either party (or both) at the hearing, and would not give legal advice. Moreover, most mediators will be very reluctant to appear as a witness before a judge, even in an uncontested hearing, where the work product of a mediation is barred from disclosure in any court proceeding.

In rare occasions, spouses currently going through a divorce mediation may need to make a court appearance for matters related to their divorce. For example, the tension in divorce is so high that it leads one spouse to file a restraining order against the other, or child custody needs prove to be contentious enough that a temporary court order becomes necessary to prevent a situation from escalating. In these instances, Massachusetts law protects mediators from being served with subpoenas or from otherwise being compelled to testify on behalf of one or both spouses.  

In Massachusetts, the confidentiality of the divorce mediation process is protected by law. This can make a huge difference in your divorce because some very intimate details about your marriage are bound to come up in the process. If this happens in a divorce litigation, those details will often be included in a court filing, which is a public record and therefore accessible by members of the public. 

In a divorce mediation with a qualified mediator, on the other hand, the confidentiality of any information that gets exchanged during mediation is protected by Ch. 233, s. 23C, so long as both spouses sign a participation agreement before the mediation begins. Importantly, this confidentiality applies even if the mediation process proves to be unsuccessful. This prevents any of the documents or the disclosures made during mediation from getting out into the public eye, protecting your privacy and allowing you to fully participate in the mediation without worrying about divulging something you do not want your neighbors to know about.

In general, a statutory mediator cannot be subpoenaed to testify in court, nor can any of her work product – including notes, documents or recollections of what either party may have said during the course of the mediation – admissible.